The Parent Support Group (PSG) organized a sharing session for parents on 16th May 2009. The topic of discussion was ‘ Coping with Peer Relationships’. Mr Segar, the Chairman of Temasek PSG, began the session by asking all parents to introduce themselves and state the level their child was in. The group had a mix of parents, with children ranging from the Secondary l to Secondary 3 levels.Mr Segar then opened the session by explaining the objectives of the “We Share” sessions. He added that the PSG hoped that through these sessions, the concerns, anxieties or questions of parents present will be shared and hopefully by the end of the session, parents will have a better insight about their concerns. Mr Ari, the Vice Principal and Mrs Lalita Kok, the school counselor were also at hand to answer any questions.
Mr Segar started the ball rolling by sharing his own experiences as a parent of two children, one in Secondary 3 and the other in Secondary 1, both in Temasek Secondary School. Mrs Kok shared that our children need to move out and develop good peer-relationships. This is especially important in the adolescent years as the teenagers develop identities of their own as they break away from their parents’ images of them.
One of the parents, a mother of three boys related how she and her husband discipline their children. When her second son, who is an extrovert received invitations for outings from friends, they would give him a curfew and explain to him why there was a need for such a rule. It was different with their first child who is an introvert and does not go out much. Hence, she explained they applied different rules for their 3 different children. She also explained how she taught here children to have empathy for their other friends and peers who do not come from similar family set-ups as themselves.
Mr Ari, although not a parent yet, shared his experiences with a family member who faced teenage pangs. He shared that there are no ‘solid moulds’ rather or fixed solutions as we bring up our teenagers. We have to bend and adjust and be flexible to cope with the different needs of our adolescents.
One parent was concerned that her child had been receiving calls and smses from classmates till past his bedtime and asked the counselor what actions to take. Mrs Kok suggested that the parent might want to explain to her child regarding appropriate time for receiving messages and that the child could tell his friends about his house rules.
As Mr Segar concluded, all the parents present agreed that they had benefited from sharing with the others present. Some parents said that they were there just to listen and find out if they were doing the right things for their children.
We encourage more parents to join us in our next “We Share” session as we, parents and caregivers share with each other through our different parenting styles, tips about tackling common school and adolescent issues.
Contributed by PSG member, Nina Shah
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